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Everything Changed: A Lesson in Identity

Posted by Mo Hickman
Mo Hickman

The greatest lesson I have ever learned is that I am not smart.

Growing up in the church, I was always told that I needed to find my identity in Christ. The problem was that I never understood what that meant. Before Ambrose, I would describe myself as a nerd, and a musician. I was the student who never got a question wrong. The thought of not being academically gifted scared me. As a musician, I was a central part of my church’s worship team and that worship team was a central part of me.

And then I started university.

My identity was challenged when I did not make the worship team for chapel. I was mad and confused and hurt. My mind overflowed with negativity. What kind of a worship pastor would I be if I could not even make a worship team? This central aspect of my life was no longer a part of me.

My grades also changed. I did not expect to get super high marks anymore, but I would be lying if I said I did not want them. I got an 80% on the first assignment I handed in – and I was thrilled! But suddenly my B did not seem so great after all when I saw that As were achievable. My biggest fear was coming true – I was not smart.

My first year at Ambrose has caused a lot of changes in my life, but most importantly, it has taught me who I really am. Now I understand what it means to have my identity in Christ. I never was the smart one. I never was a musician. My identity comes from something that I can never lose: the fact that I am a child of the one true King. Being at Ambrose allowed me to learn to find my identity in Christ, and I never want to go back.

Tags: Ambrose, identity, church